Parker's Personal Blog

Traumatic Accidents: Recovery

It would be interesting - had I time - to do some research on the different steps in 'recovery from a catastrophic accident'.

I often wonder how many stages there would be... and what they would be labeled. Interesting how we like things in even numbers, and the AA '12 Steps' come to mind for many people I've asked.

March 3rd, 2010 - My 41st birthday
It's been 14months and 9 days since my accident. Physically I'm a lot better than I was at 8am on Christmas day 2008.

That morning, after the accident I had four bones sticking through my skin*. My femur, my tibia, my fibula, and my 2nd toe - all broke in varying stages destruction and due to the violence of the accident stuck through my skin.

Obviously, I had lots of surgeries (nine from 12 Dec 2008 through 14 Jan 2009), and another one mid June 2009. I had lots of blood transfusions (I am allergic to somethings now that I've had the transfusions, and as the guy that NEVER got cold, now I get cold much more easily). I had the joy of around 50 days in hospital beds, hundreds of X-rays, untold luxurious needle stickings, etc.

And like you, I NEVER EVER thought it could happen to me. Who could possibly imagine on Christmas morning - while taking your 7 year old to school - you would get run down by an idiot. Especially one who doesn't bother to look left, while illegally turning left INTO THE ONCOMING TRAFFIC'S LANE!

My recovery has segued through 13 months of crutches, all the related physical therapy, the itchy scars (there are more than 36 inches of scars), etc.

Believe me when I say I realize (and reflect) every day on how lucky I am to be alive, how lucky I am to not have severed my spine, and not to mention how thankful I am that I was able to keep my son behind me - he walked away with a scratch on his right hand.

My left leg is about 1.5 centimeters (1/2 inch to 5/8 inch) shorter than my right leg. And as I've had 3 different orthopaedic surgeons at three different hospitals tell me - unasked - that I must never run, jump, etc again (as my tibia was so badly broken, that the impact of running - even when the bone is 'healed' will result in it re-shattering). The third time was pretty sobering.

I stopped using my crutches in favor of a cane ... and the only thing that I know I have to do is go to the orthopaedic doctor that can measure me for a shoe insert. Frankly, I've not been able to force myself to go.

Self-Identification ... aka ... Acceptance
I have worked on accepting my situation. I am not 'angry' at Mr. Chen (the aforementioned ass that drove so recklessly that day). I am not happy with him ... but I would rather be me - suffering from the accident - than remember everyday that I almost killed some luckless SOB, and maimed him for life.

I'm not angry with the pathetic traffic system in Taiwan - the fact that Mr. Chen could run me down and not be ticketed is disgusting. Not happy with it ... but the fact is that institutionalized racism is everywhere (ask a black in America's south), and it'll always be more politic for a policeman to give the white guy a ticket than the Taiwanese in that situation. Afterall, the odds are better that the Taiwanese guy's relatives are important ...

While I recognize that there was a great chance for infection ... and that the first hospital kept me alive .... = Good thing. However, now that I've been the victim of malpractice TWICE and I've been left with my leg shorter, I will definitely pursue legal recourse (with the desire to be to force the hospital to deal with its deficiencies... why should I be handicapped AFTER the summer surgeries? Because they didn't prepare correctly for the ELECTIVE surgery).

The thought that I repeatedly have is, am I 'handicapped' or am I 'disabled'? I find myself debating the difference between being the 'odds on favorite' versus 'the underdog' ... or 'not abled' enough.

Next steps? (intentional double entendre)
Get my insole inserty thing made.
Keep practicing not running.
Swim, exercise more
Try to accept that my 39th Christmas present was (probably) a life long disability
Keep laughing and enjoying life.

PAF

ParkerFairfield AT G mai l DOT com

*My femur had a large section -about 8cms (3 inches)- which was literally pulverized. Due to it instantly being 'gone' - there was connecetion to the lower leg, and the muscles coming down from my abdomen forced the bone up through the skin.

My tibia was turned into five large pieces - one of which stuck through the inside of my leg just above my ankle. The fibula broke in a similar area and stuck mostly through.

My 2nd toe (next to the big toe) broke in the middle of my foot, and poke through - but didn't pierce my boot.

What a stunning 365 days of agony, despair, elation, and frustration.

Most seem to recognize their mortality with a very small percentage of their total "life" left.

I know when I worked in the Emergency Room in Washington DC for those years that I saw lots of people die... and usually their families were stunned by the persons death. If their death was stunning, I thought, then probably the person that passed on was even more surprised.

As today is my first anniversary of being run down by that horrible driver "Mr. Chen" ... I look back on the year.

Today I find myself in a much better situation than I was sixty days ago - I haven't used crutches for weeks (except when traveling far distances ... like airports or train stations) and my pain is to a much more tolerable level. Yes, I still have a lot of pain - usually in my hip area, frequently in my knee, as well as in my foot, and occasionally about 3 inches above my ankle (where the bones must still be healing).

"But I'm alive"

My mantra is a good one - and IMO a positive one. Yes, I certainly am alive. The pain (grin) reminds me of that.

My bones have not completely healed - apparently that will take about two years from my last surgery (June 2009) - and I've got the damaged hip to deal with (some of talked of doing a hip replacement... I'm of the 'grin and bear it' school myself).

I've only fallen to the ground four times... which probably reads as either hysterical or horrific - depending upon your imagination. I'm 6' 1" (187 cms) and 215 lbs (99kg) ... and the 'falling' to the ground is much more like 'catastrophic failure' (think the World Trade Towers collapse) ... versus a slow "ooops - owww - ahhh - aiiiii- bannnng - boooom".

The first time was when I stepped backwards while in a bookstore in Hong Kong and a little child was there. When I felt his foot under mine, I tried to react (pushing with the bad leg to move myself away). My knee buckled, the books in my hand went flying, and I twisted like a cat falling from a tree branch in an effort to NOT land on top of the 18mo old. The child was fine, the mother laughed a nervous grin, and I sat on the floor in agony, yet happy that I'd not hurt anyone but myself.

The other memorable time was the day after my HP Laptop DV9550 was repaired. I was carrying it ... and my knee buckled, my laptop went flying, and I landed on the ground in agony. Unfortunately, the screen of my laptop didn't fare as well as the little kid in the bookstore. One word = Shattered.

Moving on

I'm making headway paying for it - yes, still paying for it. There were, after all, more than twenty hours of surgery (the normal operation lasts around an hour). I think I only owe around US 7,000 now....

In almost every way I wish I had the accident in the USA - as I'd be a multi millionaire twice: once due to the accident itself, and once due to the medical malpractice performed by the Director of Orthopedics at Taichung's China Medical University.

By and large though, I am starting to wonder about the more practical aspects of my future... like:

• should I buy customized shoes, as my left leg is shorter than my right
• how do I 'keep myself' from running - especially if I have comfortable shoes - as the doctors have threatened me that the impact of me running will snap my lower leg again even though there's a rod in it (the rod will apparently shear off)
• how long is too long before I consider more surgery on my hip

I realized in the shower this morning that my 2009 Christmas present was the realization that life is more precious than 99.999% of us remember on a daily basis.... Idiots like Mr. Chen - not watching where he's going and 'assuming no one' would be in front of him (without looking) SOLELY because he was late to work are great examples of this.

Sit and watch people on the street. Look for that one that is truly happy to be meandering along. They're hard to find. Remind yourself to be happy you're alive, well - regardless of your circumstances.

I do my best to be elated by my experience - it beats the crap out of being depressed and miserable.

PAF
Guangzhou, China, the workshop of the world.

Interesting statistics on Foreign Reserves around the world ... what's super interesting is the per PERSON reserves:

	People's Republic of China
Foreign Reserves	2,273,000,000,000
Population	            1,600,000,000
	
Avg/Person (USD) 1,421
         


	Taiwan
Foreign Reserves	321,000,000,000
Population	             22,000,000
	
Avg/Person (USD) 14,591


	Japan
Foreign Reserves	1,019,000,000,000
Population	127,500,000
	
Avg/Person (USD) 7,992

I know I have photos of my Dad's fish somewhere on my picasaweb site EVEN IF THE CHINESE GOVT doesnt' want me to show it to you. (Take a look yourself).

Anyway, Dad's applying for a gig in China - and I hope he gets it. He deserves it.

I'm enjoying my hobbling.

Although, trying to explain that sentence is difficult in Mandarin

Main Entry: 1hob·ble 
Pronunciation: \ˈhä-bəl\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): hob·bled; hob·bling \-b(ə-)liŋ\
Etymology: Middle English hoblen; akin to Middle Dutch hobbelen to turn, roll
Date: 14th century
intransitive verb
: to move along unsteadily or with difficulty; especially : to limp along

- from Merriam-Webster dictionary



It's strange to watch people walking along, turning suddenly, while carrying bags, and talking on the phone - and the whole time stepping over items in their way and walking down a grade ... not to mention the horns beeping, cars zooming by, bicycles and motorbikes missing them ... or the other pedestrians meandering by.

My knee just suddenly decides to 'fold' sometimes. I'd be TERRIFIED to try to walk like 99% of those around me. [giggle]

With that said ... my ungainly hobbling around makes me SUPER excited. True, there is quite a bit of pain ... but were I dead, there'd be no feeling at all. So, I'll take the pain any day of the week.

Remember when you get up from the computer the next time, the next step you take is amazing. There are millions of people that wish we could just jump up to grab a quick XXXXXX item and then return to where we were.

Everything is relative.

Stepping off of the soapbox,

PAF