Alive is sooooo much better than dead.

Of course, the random rashes each week suck.

And the massive daily leg pain sucks.

Or the weird skin rashes I get on my thumbs now don't make one want to jump up and down screaming - "look at these cool rashes"!

My boy, PJ, walked away from the crash. He scratched his hand.

I collapsed my femur - 9 cms of bone were pulverised. The femur that remained tore through my muscles and skin and pointed up at the sun, as if in salute.

My tibia went from 1 long piece into 5 medium sized chunks, and more than 20 small chic-let sized pieces. Of course, it felt it needed to salute the sun too. It stuck through my skin just above my boot line. Pointing at the ground, no less.

My fibula was a wimp. Nothing was pulverized, and it only broke in half. It joined my tibia at saluting the dirt on the ground. Wimp.

My second toe (the one next to my big-toe) had something to prove. It broke clear through in the middle of my foot ... apparently saluting the sun is important. Thankfully, my boots kept it from poking through my shoes too.

While they returned me my pants (with all sorts of blood, they didn't return my left shoe, nor my sock. Apparently, they were too disgusting (LOL).

More information can be found:

here

Christmas sucked

more and more later

Traumatic Accidents: Recovery

It would be interesting - had I time - to do some research on the different steps in 'recovery from a catastrophic accident'.

I often wonder how many stages there would be... and what they would be labeled. Interesting how we like things in even numbers, and the AA '12 Steps' come to mind for many people I've asked.

March 3rd, 2010 - My 41st birthday
It's been 14months and 9 days since my accident. Physically I'm a lot better than I was at 8am on Christmas day 2008.

That morning, after the accident I had four bones sticking through my skin*. My femur, my tibia, my fibula, and my 2nd toe - all broke in varying stages destruction and due to the violence of the accident stuck through my skin.

Obviously, I had lots of surgeries (nine from 12 Dec 2008 through 14 Jan 2009), and another one mid June 2009. I had lots of blood transfusions (I am allergic to somethings now that I've had the transfusions, and as the guy that NEVER got cold, now I get cold much more easily). I had the joy of around 50 days in hospital beds, hundreds of X-rays, untold luxurious needle stickings, etc.

And like you, I NEVER EVER thought it could happen to me. Who could possibly imagine on Christmas morning - while taking your 7 year old to school - you would get run down by an idiot. Especially one who doesn't bother to look left, while illegally turning left INTO THE ONCOMING TRAFFIC'S LANE!

My recovery has segued through 13 months of crutches, all the related physical therapy, the itchy scars (there are more than 36 inches of scars), etc.

Believe me when I say I realize (and reflect) every day on how lucky I am to be alive, how lucky I am to not have severed my spine, and not to mention how thankful I am that I was able to keep my son behind me - he walked away with a scratch on his right hand.

My left leg is about 1.5 centimeters (1/2 inch to 5/8 inch) shorter than my right leg. And as I've had 3 different orthopaedic surgeons at three different hospitals tell me - unasked - that I must never run, jump, etc again (as my tibia was so badly broken, that the impact of running - even when the bone is 'healed' will result in it re-shattering). The third time was pretty sobering.

I stopped using my crutches in favor of a cane ... and the only thing that I know I have to do is go to the orthopaedic doctor that can measure me for a shoe insert. Frankly, I've not been able to force myself to go.

Self-Identification ... aka ... Acceptance
I have worked on accepting my situation. I am not 'angry' at Mr. Chen (the aforementioned ass that drove so recklessly that day). I am not happy with him ... but I would rather be me - suffering from the accident - than remember everyday that I almost killed some luckless SOB, and maimed him for life.

I'm not angry with the pathetic traffic system in Taiwan - the fact that Mr. Chen could run me down and not be ticketed is disgusting. Not happy with it ... but the fact is that institutionalized racism is everywhere (ask a black in America's south), and it'll always be more politic for a policeman to give the white guy a ticket than the Taiwanese in that situation. Afterall, the odds are better that the Taiwanese guy's relatives are important ...

While I recognize that there was a great chance for infection ... and that the first hospital kept me alive .... = Good thing. However, now that I've been the victim of malpractice TWICE and I've been left with my leg shorter, I will definitely pursue legal recourse (with the desire to be to force the hospital to deal with its deficiencies... why should I be handicapped AFTER the summer surgeries? Because they didn't prepare correctly for the ELECTIVE surgery).

The thought that I repeatedly have is, am I 'handicapped' or am I 'disabled'? I find myself debating the difference between being the 'odds on favorite' versus 'the underdog' ... or 'not abled' enough.

Next steps? (intentional double entendre)
Get my insole inserty thing made.
Keep practicing not running.
Swim, exercise more
Try to accept that my 39th Christmas present was (probably) a life long disability
Keep laughing and enjoying life.

PAF

ParkerFairfield AT G mai l DOT com

*My femur had a large section -about 8cms (3 inches)- which was literally pulverized. Due to it instantly being 'gone' - there was connecetion to the lower leg, and the muscles coming down from my abdomen forced the bone up through the skin.

My tibia was turned into five large pieces - one of which stuck through the inside of my leg just above my ankle. The fibula broke in a similar area and stuck mostly through.

My 2nd toe (next to the big toe) broke in the middle of my foot, and poke through - but didn't pierce my boot.

What a stunning 365 days of agony, despair, elation, and frustration.

Most seem to recognize their mortality with a very small percentage of their total "life" left.

I know when I worked in the Emergency Room in Washington DC for those years that I saw lots of people die... and usually their families were stunned by the persons death. If their death was stunning, I thought, then probably the person that passed on was even more surprised.

As today is my first anniversary of being run down by that horrible driver "Mr. Chen" ... I look back on the year.

Today I find myself in a much better situation than I was sixty days ago - I haven't used crutches for weeks (except when traveling far distances ... like airports or train stations) and my pain is to a much more tolerable level. Yes, I still have a lot of pain - usually in my hip area, frequently in my knee, as well as in my foot, and occasionally about 3 inches above my ankle (where the bones must still be healing).

"But I'm alive"

My mantra is a good one - and IMO a positive one. Yes, I certainly am alive. The pain (grin) reminds me of that.

My bones have not completely healed - apparently that will take about two years from my last surgery (June 2009) - and I've got the damaged hip to deal with (some of talked of doing a hip replacement... I'm of the 'grin and bear it' school myself).

I've only fallen to the ground four times... which probably reads as either hysterical or horrific - depending upon your imagination. I'm 6' 1" (187 cms) and 215 lbs (99kg) ... and the 'falling' to the ground is much more like 'catastrophic failure' (think the World Trade Towers collapse) ... versus a slow "ooops - owww - ahhh - aiiiii- bannnng - boooom".

The first time was when I stepped backwards while in a bookstore in Hong Kong and a little child was there. When I felt his foot under mine, I tried to react (pushing with the bad leg to move myself away). My knee buckled, the books in my hand went flying, and I twisted like a cat falling from a tree branch in an effort to NOT land on top of the 18mo old. The child was fine, the mother laughed a nervous grin, and I sat on the floor in agony, yet happy that I'd not hurt anyone but myself.

The other memorable time was the day after my HP Laptop DV9550 was repaired. I was carrying it ... and my knee buckled, my laptop went flying, and I landed on the ground in agony. Unfortunately, the screen of my laptop didn't fare as well as the little kid in the bookstore. One word = Shattered.

Moving on

I'm making headway paying for it - yes, still paying for it. There were, after all, more than twenty hours of surgery (the normal operation lasts around an hour). I think I only owe around US 7,000 now....

In almost every way I wish I had the accident in the USA - as I'd be a multi millionaire twice: once due to the accident itself, and once due to the medical malpractice performed by the Director of Orthopedics at Taichung's China Medical University.

By and large though, I am starting to wonder about the more practical aspects of my future... like:

• should I buy customized shoes, as my left leg is shorter than my right
• how do I 'keep myself' from running - especially if I have comfortable shoes - as the doctors have threatened me that the impact of me running will snap my lower leg again even though there's a rod in it (the rod will apparently shear off)
• how long is too long before I consider more surgery on my hip

I realized in the shower this morning that my 2009 Christmas present was the realization that life is more precious than 99.999% of us remember on a daily basis.... Idiots like Mr. Chen - not watching where he's going and 'assuming no one' would be in front of him (without looking) SOLELY because he was late to work are great examples of this.

Sit and watch people on the street. Look for that one that is truly happy to be meandering along. They're hard to find. Remind yourself to be happy you're alive, well - regardless of your circumstances.

I do my best to be elated by my experience - it beats the crap out of being depressed and miserable.

PAF
Guangzhou, China, the workshop of the world.

Hopefully this thing called a skull is doing more than making it hard for my body to maintain its balance.

Since my surgery on January 14th, 2009 ... I have been a fruit basket.

Or maybe a better analogy would be ... have you ever, as a gag, answered 20 math tests, then had about 5 shots, and answered 20 math tests again? How about another 5 shots.

Oh yeah, you're brain is functioning normally, right?!?!

Starting about 36 hours ago, I started being able to think coherently again. Well, think may be an exaggeration if you compare what my brain was able to do 36 hours ago versus what it is able to do today - right Jayson? As an overview... yesterday and the day before ... for short periods of times (20 minutes) I could pretty much think about one simple (peeling a banana) OR complex (making a banana split) subject. Somewhere along the way I, like an alzheimer's patient - or a patient surviving a fugue, find myself lost, and frankly not overly concerned by it, I might suddenly be describing the prismatic effect of the color of the sunlight bouncing across the lake, while mumbling about the tadpoles cum frogs found in the weeds. What I have realized is that the cost of this accident is going to far surpass USD 50,000 - mostly for this amazing accomodations I've been staying in ... have the opportunity to change our own sheets, we supply our own towels - there is no soap, no shampoo, no nurse staff to do anything besides hand us the medicine or give inejectables. Gotta go before I say something I don't believe.

Pain Update

The areas most sore are (1) the 2 1/2 inch area where the bone was pulverized and now I've got donor bone mixed together with synthetic bone, and (2) the triangular area which Dr. Flood figured was fine on its own.

CT Scan of the pulverized area the day of the accident

From 20081225 ER - CT of Leg - Processed

Look towards the bottom - you can see the chunks

From Nan Fang Hospital Xrays

The Triangular Area - which doesn't look like it's healing on its own

Here's the CT scan taken the day of the accident December 25th, 2008.

From 20081225 ER - CT of Leg - Processed

This x-ray was taken approximately 60 days after the accident, and 40 days after my last surgery - when Dr. Flood thought it was okay on its own. Notice that the aspect of the image is about the same angle.

From Nan Fang Hospital Xrays

Hold your breath

So when I go back to Taiwan in 10 days or so, my goal is to be to have ....

wait for it wait for it

More surgery! Ayup, I need to go under the knife again ... to get that area packed with more donor (aka dead people's donated) bone so that it will heal up correctly. And while we're in there, that stupid long wire/nail needs to be changed to a plate. Oh, and if we're going to be knocking me out ... maybe that wire that's wrapped around my femur. If anyone knows where Steve Austin is - let me know.


PAF

Living in China's third largest city, Guangzhou, is an interesting experience - especially for one on crutches!

I've been back almost a week ... and my biggest concern before I arrived was an important, but mundane one - would I be able to use the average restroom when in need?

As some of you know, my studio apartment in the Tianhe section of this city of around 18,000,000 (the official statistics are always low) was briefly lived in by my landlord, and is nicely decorated... However the key thing about my studio is that it's a loft - with the bedroom and the bathroom being upstairs.

So, upon arrival in Guangzhou (GZ), and having my bag brought up to my studio, I started acclimating myself to my environment.

The most dangerous thing about using crutches when you've had your leg literally rebuilt from femur to foot with not only screws, wire, nails, plates, and rods, but also a combination of donor bone and synthetic bone is trying to shower. It's a daily event ... and any liquid on the floor which gets between the two (2) inch diameter 'crutch foot' and its share of the 200 pounds it supports can easily result in a sudden slippage of the crutch.

I've fallen to the floor twice now - once in Taiwan, and once in China. I slipped in my room after trying to grab something off of my bed; I moved too fast as I reached with my right arm (allowing my right crutch to stop supporting me, and the increased angle on my left crutch caused it to shoot out from under me. One's immediate thought is to put your foot down to stop the fall ... but somehow I'm good at instinctively not following 'common' reactions. I fell to the floor and laughed at myself. I was extremely thankful that I did not put my foot down - as my most recent Xrays show tha my toe is still fractured, but its healing.... and I have no idea what would happen to my femur - as its got the 6 centimenter section of 'bridging' which consists of nothing more than a metal plate about 1/2 inch wide and 1/8 inch thick with a bunch of mixed non-Parker bone (the bone is mixed synthetic bone with donor (corpse) bone).

I've lost about 20 kilograms (around 45 pounds) ... and had somewhere around 7 kilos installed into my left leg ... so I'm lighter, but visibly thinner; so much so that everyone comments on it. The ramifications of losing so much weight is that I have the joy of wearing belts every day! Putting a belt on while standing on crutches is something takes serious practice!

My day

While I used to sleep only about five or six hours a day, it's a brave new world for me now. I sleep somewhere around twelve hours a day... so getting up at six like "normal" is impossible as I'm still in the office. I've gotten accustomed to getting up daily around eightish...

After dressing, I hazzard the spiral stairwell. I'd have to say that this is the most dangerous part of my day - from top to bottom it's a clockwise spinning stairwell with ten (10) stairs taking between the loft and the main floor. There is no way that the stairwell would pass whatever organization 'approves' stairwells in the USA - as first of all its width can't be three feet (about 95 cms) and the tread depth is somewhere around 5 (13 cms) inches at the middle of the tread ... which means when I'm coming down the stairs with one good foot the which is a size 13 (47 or 48) I have to step sideways. As a teenager I spent years on crutches so ... I do the advanced process of holding two crutches under my left arm and then put a vice like grip on the center pole of the stairwell with my right hand.

I've had the joy of hanging by my right arm only once - my foot slipped out from under me and the crutch propelled me forward and I just hung there like a flag waiting for a breeze. I got my foot back on the stair - and thanked my lucky stars for the fact that my shoulders and arms are already a LOT stronger due to porting myself around. I doubt I'll slip again ... I now only walk the stairs with my awesome looking

Green Crocs

I shut down my laptop - its playing jazz all night long - after checking my email and put it in my overladen backpack... and at the same time eat get some fruit or vegetables in me (cherry tomatoes, bananas, oranges or star fruit is my normal purchase as they are fairly indestructible and I imagine they are good for me) I chow down my pills.

Medicine: Chinese & Western

I take pills four (4) times a day ... with a slight variation.
The overview is, one is to help me from getting an ulcer, some are NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), pain killers, Chinese anti-swelling medicine, and anti-biotics.

Some are taken every 8, some every 6... and I was even proscribed some sort of Chinese medicine which basically tastes like it came out of the bottom of some discarded vat of gook used to die felt orange. It's taken every other day an hour after food and allegedly helps my bones grow... which as Dr. Flood did such a crap job on my tibia I'm taking it too. I'm extremely thankful that its only taken every other day, and not twice a day - as I don't know that I could keep that much of it down!

So after loading up on my medicines, I choke down something (tomatoes are easy, bananas are tasty, and oranges are a pain to peel) ... and then take my vitamins - Calcium (a pill that has to be the largest horse pill I've ever taken) and a pill that's essentially every vitamin known to man kind - which has about 200% of one's daily need of Zinc, not to mention the other vitamins the body does and doesn't need.

Then, once I've got my drugs in me - which I definitely need, because there is always some part of my leg which demands attention (although somedays I do go without taking the pain medicine as I am constantly trying to keep its usage to a minimum to keep from building up a tolerance), I find my ziplock bag and allocate my lunch and dinner allowances of pills. The bag usually inspires giggles and some laughter when people see me pull it out for the first time... the pills come in all sorts of colors and sizes.

Depending on my feeling of exhaustion, I suck down a can of "Fire" coffee... not bad, and now that there's allegedly no more toxins in the milk I feel as safe consuming it as I do about consuming anything else here.

I suppose getting to the office is actually the most boring part of the day - outside of actually getting my backpack on and then standing up. I feel like one of the actors playing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle must have felt the first time they put the shell on.

The weirdest thing about being out in public is the stares. I've never once seen any other handicapped walking down the street... I've never seen anyone else on crutches ... and as a foreigner on crutches - usually listening to some pounding rock music to keep my march moving at a decent clip - I'm certainly about as weird looking as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walking down the street.

As my left foot is so swollen that nothing fits on it - one of my gym socks feels tight - I wrap it in the 6 inch wide ace bandages that I used to hold the splint on with - and depending on the amount of swelling where my femur tore through my thigh I wrap that area with two ace bandages too. As the temperature has been in the high 20s the last few days (mid 80s F) I've worn nice short pants more than half of the time ... allowing my incredibly sexy leg (photos are on the way; I need to find a photographer) is quite an eye catcher!

I've learned to protect my foot in the elevator - as it's usually chest to back, shoulder to shoulder full during rush ( I bang my crutches on the ground and casually "accidentally" hit ankles when feet get too close).

At work I decided to be right up front - as everyone was ecstatic I was back (some clapped). I told people that if they wanted to see, I'd be happy to show them my surgeries - and got a standing room only audience. The forty plus stitches which are essentially in four different areas for a total length of around thirty inches (70cms) plus all the scrapes, and holes where the 'external fixation' device was installed make for a bizarre sight.

Now, when in pain, I put my leg up on my desk with a pillow and continue my job; writing, reading, working on a project etc.

Having worked hours on the flexing of my knee - I have about 20 degrees of range of motion (ROM) - I don't have to worry about using the rest room ... except for the fact that restrooms in Asia are no where near as clean as they are in the USA....

I order lunch delivered to the office, and try to remember to take my meds on time.

I try to get home around a decent time - call it between six and nine ... and I usually eat something delivered - Papa John's has made a major entry into my life LOL - and I've learned what channels have decent shows on my TV - which has never had so much interaction since I've lived here.

Sit Down For This: I watch TV now

I watch mostly soccer (football as its called over here) because regardless of the language being spoken by the broadcasters you can understand what's going on by watching. I've yet to have a favorite team - but ask me in a few months. If it's on TV in China, it's excellent football. I also watch a bunch of the propaganda on their CCTV channels ...

I do laundry daily - it's easier to do that way - and basically throw the clean laundry up onto the floor of my bedroom.... which is fairly ironic (wash your clothes so you can throw them on the floor).

And my big event of the evening is the fact that I've moved my showering to night time... as it's impossible to do in the morning. It is no longer possible for me to take a three minute shower ... I figure 'fast' is about ten minutes. Oh, and I screwed up my goatee that I was intent on keeping as it is easier to keep than being clean shaven. I should have just found a barber, but I didn't, and accidentally screwed it up, and ended up going back to good old Parker. (It took Sarah 3 hours to realize today!)

Help, I've fallen (in my tiny as heck shower) and I can't get up

As I said - my biggest fear is slipping on the wet tile and falling ... and the fold-up stool that I have in my shower helps me get over that some ... but I still move at tortoise pace as I really don't want to end up in a hospital bed for a long time.

A turtle, a tortoise, or a snails pace - just call me a limpit

So what I've done is I put two carpets in my bathroom and have a stool... and then try to keep my crutch feet totally dry.... and then I take 1/3 of the normal step I take ... so that my good foot is moving only about 8 inches at a time ... so even if a crutch slipped, I don't think I'd lose my balance.

After my shower, I do my laundry, put on my jazz (usually Coltrane), and go up and take my bed time medicine and go to sleep for the first time of the evening. My average evening I start waking up around three am, and then once an hour until I finally get up... although my first two nights here I slept almost twelve hours straight.

Next Steps

• I'm going to start going to physical therapy (once I can find somewhere to go!)
• as well as going swimming on a regular basis to try to get the muscle mass back in my legs
• - and relearn how to use my left leg.
• Also, I am thinking of joining Toastmasters for something to do once a week - and making more acquaintances; I got Alice (one of my consultants) hooked on it and am thinking of joining her this Thursday.

I also have to be more diligent about my masochism - as I don't stretch my knee enough; but that's why I'm going to find some sadist at a physical therapy department to torture me.

Did I miss anything? Don't think so!

You know how there are so few smiling faces at any airport?

Know how you've always wondered how hard it really would be to bring a bomb or C4 or some explosive on an airplane?

Know how air travel has morphed into some sort of masochistic exercise of hurrying up and waiting, followed by hurrying up? Something like being cattle led to slaughter?

Carrie & her mom picked us up at home in Taichung around 12:30pm ... and drove the 20 minutes to the airport; Carrie's mom makes any short ride exciting. One thing that's for sure is that her VW van has authentic brake pads, because the thing routinely proves that it can stop on a dime!

So after arriving at the incredibly small - but nicely laid out (and overstaffed) - Taichung airport (RMQ) I checked in for my 14:40 flight with:

• My borrowed wheelchair
• My crutches
• My backpack / computer bag
• and my one piece of checked in luggage - a small roller bag

I was a little surprised when the Hong Kong Express Airways girl checking me in freaked out that I'd been in the country more than 30 days - I'd forgotten to give her my Alien Resident Card which allows me to live in Taiwan (virtually) permanently. When I left she was as sweet as pie... smiling and wishing me a fast recovery.

She checked me in to the best seat on the plane for me - the aisle seat on the right side of the plane facing the bulkhead... allowing my left leg to stick past the bulkhead yet out of the aisle.

Two employees went with me to the 3rd floor departure lounge. Me, sporting my massively bushy beard (unshaven since the first week of January) and two guys in blue pull overs. We weren't a TOTAL scene - but enough of one that 95% of everyone looked, a few pointed, and all listened to our conversation; it's nice knowing that I can provide entertainment to about 50 people at any given time!

One took off ... while the other waited. Pushing me for water, and talking to me about the risks of driving - from his perspective - in Taiwan. He had a lot of experience, according to him, for 20 years old. Although he'd never been in an accident. [giggle]

The boarded the whole plane before me, and then, with my escort, I took the elevator down ... had three guys take my wheel chair to be gate checked ... and my escort carried my backpack for me as I made my way to seat 3D. Nice! The only thing that they could have done nicer is upgraded me to first class!

Hey, I'll take whatever I can get!

The purser came and with a big grin... we discussed the merits of be getting off first or last. She allowed me to convince her that I knew what I was doing and could get off first. (Well, first after First Class; you know how it is).

The ride was crappy only because it was painful. The people were great! And I can't wait to fly UO again!

I got to the gate and sure enough, my wheel chair -undamaged- was there. As well was a smiling young lady ready to (try and) push me to the ferry area.

I bought my ticket from the nice, smiling girl (she was a Jekyll and Hyde because I heard & saw her sneering at the previous ferry passenger). The irony was that my 99 pound wheel chair pusher (who was catching her breath) had of course cut the entire line and now the others that had been waiting for god only knows how long got wait as the lady became super kind. The Ms. Hyde told me that they'd take care of my luggage transfer for me if I'd give them my ticket - now that's a deal! "Here, take it".

My pusher steered me down to the waiting area ... and I was told that my ferry was in like an hour and a half.

I thanked the pusher lady, and gave her a tip - she was stunned (maybe I shouldn't have done that but she was cool, basically a tour guide and saved me 20 minutes at least!).

So the pusher girl sent over one of the Ferry customer service girls ... who informed me (smiling of course; it was one of those days) that my bus would be there at 5:45 (for the 6:10 departure). Cool. I had awhile. I got out of the wheelchair, got comfortable - realized I lost my Time magazine, wrote some SMS messages - you know ... just hung out.

At about 5:30, Ferry girl came over and said "will you come with me" ... as it was early I asked, as I was going with her, "You are putting me on a ferry to Dongguan, right?" Yup, she was.

We went out, I got on the bus, and I watched two twiggy looking young girls try to figure out how to pick up my wheel chair and get it onto the bus. I asked in which seat I should sit ... and was told "Which ever one you like". I was stunned when I sat down to find out that the bus started moving. I was the sole passenger on a bus with 42 spots.

When I got to the bus terminal, I asked yet another young girl - of the wheel chair pushing variety - why I was the only passenger on the bus. Her reply was "We thought that you'd be more comfortable." Well as a matter of fact, I was!

She huffed and she puffed, and she pushed me into the waiting room - which had the Power Puff Girls on tv (in Cantonese Chinese). Perfect! I put my iPhone earplugs in and zoned out.

About ten minutes later, the waiting area filled with passengers ... and at some point we did that ever Chinese thing called waiting for no good reason. Sometimes it works like this, one person (in this case me) goes up to the podium/door area and asks a question (like "what time are we going to board?") and all of a sudden you can hear the 100 or so people jump up and make the mad rush to stand behind you - as they're sure that you've inside information and we're about to board.

I rolled out of the way - no need to get shoved around.

Ten minutes or so later the recovered pusher girl showed up and asked me if I could use the crutches that were hanging on the back of my wheelchair - I guess she'd had enough of pushing me! LOL I got up and showed her I could. On the way down to the boat I realized that it would have been a MAJOR undertaking to roll me up and down so many gangplanks with me IN the wheelchair; not quite like building a pyramid ... but it would have involved about 4 healthy males and lots of slipping, swearing and maybe some blood loss. Crutches were fine.

The hid my chair on board, and I made my way upstairs to a comfortable seat as far from the door as I could get; no need someone tripping over me. I had a great conversation with Doug Leavy who is clearly one of the Pittsburg Steelers' biggest fans. Doug works for Emess Design Group, and is a really nice guy... and is in China a lot!

Once we docked, a nice guy - of the wheelchair pushing variety - took me to the Staff Immigration line for my passport stamp ... and when I mentioned my bag his reply AFTER we exited was "Don't worry, we'll get it for you."

By the time my driver showed up, they'd brought my bag out for me.

I'm not sure if it was the wheel chair - or the crutches - but I highly recommend traveling with BOTH of them. I went through two (2) metal detectors and each time (as I was in a metal wheelchair and have a leg full of metal) made the machines beep incessantly. I could have smuggled a small VCR unit onboard if I'd wanted to as the searches were so incomplete. I have no idea how big a hand grenade ACTUALLY is, but suffice it to say, I could have had 8 baseballs in the padding under my behind and they never would have found them.... as they didn't LOOK.

Having my bag go around - through - or whatever - customs without me ... that was awesome too.

But best of all was just the happiness of the people helping! Amazing.

And yes, I got to my apartment - exhausted and sore - at around 10pm. It's a nightmare going the short distance from Taiwan to China only because of the political garbage involved.

Charity, Benevolence, Good Will

Why is it so hard to even consider sometimes?

Looking up Charity on the web is interesting... and the overall best posting I found is here:

Noun

charity (countable and uncountable; plural charities)

1. Christian love; representing God's love of man, man's love of God, or man's love of his fellow-men.
2. In general, an attitude of kindness and understanding towards others, now especially suggesting generosity.

quotation
Judge thyself with the judgment of sincerity,
and thou will judge others
with the judgment of charity. —
John Mitchell Mason

3. (uncountable) Benevolence to others less fortunate than ourselves; the providing of goods or money to those in need.
4. (countable) The goods or money given to those in need.
5. (countable) An organization the objects of which are to carry on a charitable purpose.

Source: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/charity

Reading up on it - as you probably know, the etymology is quite interesting. Charity comes from (French, which came from) Latin - caritas. Caritas' #1 meaning is 'dear'

This whole event has made me realize a lot of things. Made me spend a lot of time thinking about life, about choices, about the Ws (who, what, where, when, why) etc.

So many strange things have happened during this time period.

In some ways being run down on Christmas day should be interpreted as the worst day of the year - but here in Taiwan, it was just another school day.

Watching fireworks from my hospital room - what a surreal feeling. Seeing myself in the flash as the 'kaboom' goes off down the block.

Streams of family members coming in and seeing me. Trying to motivate me.

Instant Messages from those on the web that like IM ... and emails from those that do email ... and the phone calls from those that like to give phone most.

I spend a lot of time wondering about the why of this - and no I have no idea of the why yet. I know that there are lots of little ifs, ands and buts ... but at the end of the day the only reason I end up really crying is not because I have a leg that feels like a 2x4 piece of wood... but because I watch PJ and Kyle run around. Knowing that PJ walked away from the accident with a scratched arm and a vision he should never have had ... now that makes me feel good, charitable, benevolent. Caritas.

So, I suppose it should not surprise me that so many of you have done the same for me. As much as it surprises me, and in some ways makes me feel ... less ... American. Less able to support myself. And more Chinese ... as the way that Taiwanese show their love for those in the hospital is to give the patient "lucky money." Depending on who you ask it's to help you get back on your feet, or to replace any bad luck with good ... At the end of the day, it's the charitable nature of a culture which believes that together we stand, divided we fall

It seems to me that that is the essence of charity.

To those of you who are able, willing or wanting, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's been an amazing experience... and while it's destined to continue on for another six to nine (or more?) months ... I've got so much to think about.

PAF

Under visitors, CHARLENE wrote this yesterday... and I didn't edit it because it was written excellently:

Thank You! 感恩

Thank you to all of you who have helped us out by donating. Parker is in no condition to write anything right now but I am sure he will be better able to do so in a day or two.

This is truly the most difficult time for me since the accident. Hearing from you has been really helpful and supportive for us.

In case you don't know,
my cellphone# is +886-921-225-712 or +886-921-745-754
Parker's Taiwan cellphone is : +886-910 387 466

If you have any international, health, related contacts we would be interested.

With Love,

Charlene & Parker

One of the hardest things to understand for non-Chinese is what 關係 /guanxi/ means. Not its literal translation, but the actual ramifications of it in the Taiwanese/Chinese world.

Today, I decided that I'd do whatever I can to use some guanxi - even though I wasn't sure that it'd help, nor did I know whether or not I actually had any... nor do I know the ultimate ramifications of using guanxi with someone (as it implies they can use it with me at a future date).

The backdrop you've read - it was the email that I fired off.

One of its recipients was my employee, and admitted righthand at NarrowGate Services International (NGSI). Judy was one of the very first employees at NarrowGate (circa 2002)... and is the Manager of Consulting Services. I'm the General Manager there as of October, 2008.

As we all know, it's a small world ... and I was supposed to have attended a meeting in late December - which I missed because I'd been hit in the motorcycle accident. I was to attend the meeting with Judy, and at the meeting I was meeting the General Manager of a larger factory in China - owned & operated by Taiwanese.

While explaining my absence to the GM of the factory, it came out that the GM's wife is a very influential government employee in the Taichung area ... and the GM offered that if there were any need, we shouldn't hesitate to call him.

Today, I asked Judy to take him up on his offer.

So, after Judy called him ... he called his wife - Ms. Lin.

Judy called me and told me that he'd said he would call his wife, Ms. Lin.

While I was on my (China) cell phone with Judy, my Taiwan cell phone rang... and sure enough it was Ms. Lin.

Ms. Lin was very pleasant, introduced herself, and asked a few questions. I answered them okay ... and finally got to "What's your Doctor's name?" Well, as I'm illiterate, I'd memorized his family name (Dr. Flood is easy to do)... but hadn't memorized his first name. I did what any illiterate, but smart person would do - I passed the phone to a literate person; Charlene.

Charlene was visibly surprised to be speaking to someone so high up in the government; that made me feel relieved.

Anyway, so after a few minutes of talking, and writing, Charlene hung up.

Ten minutes later Dr. Chen, Head of the 中國醫藥大學附設醫院 Emergency Room walked into the room. It is no wonder that he's the ER Department head; what a nice, congenial, confident, understanding man. He and I talked for awhile, and I did my best to explain what I am hoping for - just the feeling that the hospital is a well oiled machine, capable of producing excellent surgery on a regular basis.

We discussed the 'little' things that had helped tear down that imagery. Also, we discussed the systemology here in Taiwan, and the system makes it more difficult for doctors to collaborate together.

After twenty minutes he seemed to understand what we were looking for - and promised that tomorrow he'd try to get the department head for orthopedics to visit me.

Here's to Dr. Chen convincing the department head to visit!

I'm happy to establish guanxi with whomever if it means that my surgery goes more smoothly - as I know that I was starting to seriously worry.

We'll see how tomorrow turns out!

PAF